contact…

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it’s been a little while since i have written, so i thought i would just give a bit of an update.

one of the things that has happened in the last few weeks is that my step-sister knew a guy, who knew a guy, who did the surrogacy in India journey about three years ago, with a successful result of a beautiful baby.  she asked her guy, to ask his guy if we could be introduced via email and perhaps he could share some info with me.  the second guy kindly agreed, and we have been in touch.  let’s call him Matt.

so, Matt and his wife underwent the surrogacy procedure three years ago, so he is quite sure times have changed (so am i, due to my research).  at that point, there wasn’t as much attention paid to the whole “industry”, and Matt and his wife had to muddle their way through, just learning as they went.  additionally, Matt’s wife had a medical condition that made it important for them to have her go through the IVF at a regular hospital, where they could properly monitor her condition, and therefore didn’t do the IVF and surrogacy through a designated IVF/surrogacy hospital.  had they done it through a designated IVF/surrogacy hospital, they might have received a bit more guidance.

also, Matt and his wife are from the USA, so much of the paperwork and passport/visa information is probably different, so we didn’t delve into that.  he said it was a bit of a nightmare, but maybe that’s just because it’s America? hehe!

from Matt however, i got to see a few of his blog entries from when he returned from India, and learned some things about the food, the culture, what hotels were like, and the fact that internet connectivity was nearly impossible to find there.  i am hoping this last detail has changed a bit in the last three years.  Matt said he never felt worried about crime, and the people were all very nice, though the language and cultural barriers made things very difficult.  they did their procedures in Mumbai, so it was incredibly populated and bustling.  as we have heard from others, the traffic is crazy, but Matt said that while it was crazy and incredible, in the six weeks he was there, he never saw one accident or aftermath of an accident, so i felt encouraged by this.  he also said that the food was wonderful!

some of the other details Matt gave me that were of interest were:

  • even the hotel that he was in, which was $100/night, had cockroaches and bugs everywhere (this does not particularly freak me out)
  • it’s important to try to get a hotel very close to the clinic, transportation is a bit freaky, so if you have to do less, it’s better
  • almost all medical procedures had to be paid in cash
  • Matt and his wife had very little contact with their surrogate
  • they had very little communication from anyone throughout the process.  he found this very difficult, but surmises that this is because it wasn’t a designated surrogacy clinic, and that these days things are probably very different
  • they felt that the medical team and care was very thorough and good in every way
  • they made two trips – the first was for two weeks to do the sperm deposit, IVF and embryo transfer, the second was for six weeks
  • you don’t need to bring a car seat for the baby, it’s just not done there (aaaack, that freaks me out)
  • bring formula – just to be sure you get the best kind, which may not (and probably isn’t) available there
  • you don’t need anything special on the plane
  • make sure there is a car seat in the car that picks you up from the airport when you go home

those are some of the more salient points in our communication so far, but we are not done yet.  i just keep asking him questions and he answers.  i must say it’s really awesome to have some real contact with someone who has gone through this, and his son is beautiful and healthy!

my darling has reminded me that i shouldn’t make my blog entries so long, so i will sign off now… and he says hi!

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