a telephone call

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wow, it’s amazing what one phone call can incite.

now that my test results are dribbling in, i decided it would probably be time to get in touch with one of the clinics i have been researching.  therefore, i emailed the one that i thought was our favourite, based on the information we had gathered, and waited for a response.  i just let the doctor know that the waiting for chemicals to leave my body is over, and that i have gone for blood work, and while not all the results are back, some are.  the doctor got back to me, and promptly asked us to call her that day, which freaked me out because it was on a Monday night, and the requested time was the middle of the night… basically, i wasn’t ready to have a conversation, so i asked if we could postpone for a few days.  she agreed, and we set up an appointment to talk a few days later, but still in the middle of the night my time.  i think doctors often like to have their phone calls near the end of their work day, but that’s just an assumption. we will see if there is any way we can make future calls at an earlier time, because it was pretty difficult to have a phone call at 1:30 am, and still work the day before and the day after.  if it’s not possible, then that’s ok, it’s a small price to pay.

so, we had a conversation and we learned some extra information that will be of use for other Canadian (or foreign) couples who may want to do surrogacy in India.  she talked more about the new regulations that have come into play recently, and she explained that there is an extra safeguard in place that requires that the couples go to India three times now, rather than just the usual two, or sometimes one (i had seen some clinics that just directed you to send your sperm and eggs or pre-made embryos to India and come back in 9 months to pick up your baby).

now, the government requires that the couple comes to India to see the clinic and meet the doctor and the surrogate, and sign the contract in person.  this ensures that all parties know what they are getting into and i respect that.  for this first visit, the couple should use a tourist visa.  the second visit would be when the sperm is collected and the hormones, egg collection and IVF are done, and for this, the couple must go to India with a medical visa.  if all goes well, the third visit would be 9 months (well, actually 10, as a full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks) to pick up the baby or babies.

another tidbit of information from this particular clinic is that they will only implant three embryos. i also respect this course of action.

what was really funny, is that the doctor let me know that hubby and i could just jaunt over for the weekend to get the first visit out of the way.  she said if we arrived on a Friday or Saturday morning (they are open on Saturdays), we could have the paperwork signed on the Saturday, and be home by the Monday.  at first i was thinking that this sounded crazy, but then i realized that business men likely make trips like this all over the world, all the time.  i guess just for me it sounded really overwhelming.  HOWEVER, i got right on that bandwagon and started thinking that if we could do this on March 29th (incidentally my birthday, which probably added to my excitement), that it is a long weekend and hubby probably wouldn’t have to miss much work (he barely gets any paid time off each year), so that could save us a few bucks.  then i came down to Earth and realized that his passport isn’t valid past May, and to enter India you need to have six months left on your passport before it expires, and we need to renew his right away.  that’s going to take a tiny while, and then we need to get the tourist visas for India, and that will take a little while too (they say three days, but who knows).  to get the visas, you have to send your passport numbers in, so we really need hubby’s passport before we can proceed.  also, some of the test results aren’t in yet, and they are important.  we have doctors’ appointments on the 22nd, so hopefully the test results will be ready by then.  so, we won’t be going for my birthday, but i think this means we will be going pretty darn soon.

anyways, the phone call really made reality set in, and it made us realize that this can happen much sooner than later, so we are super, super, super, super, super excited, and fingers crossed, everything will be smooth sailing from here.

as always, i will keep y’all posted!

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6 responses »

  1. I’m so very happy for you that things are moving forward for you (and at quite a pace, it seems!). It seems that your chosen clinic must not have too long a waiting list if they are happy for you to just “pop over” as soon as you are ready?

    My husband and I plan to go to India for surrogacy in 3 years so I’ve been reading your journey with particular interest. There are some aspects of the changes that I think are good (e.g. the 3 trips to India) and some that I think are incredibly sad (same-sex couples being excluded). Only time will tell if these stay in place!

    All the best… I look forward to reading your post after your first visit to the clinic!!!!

    • thanks bean! i am really glad to know that you are reading our blog, and hope it is providing you with some information you can use along your own journey in three years.

      it does seem that the clinic we have been in contact with doesn’t have a waiting list at this point, but i am not surprised, as i would imagine the new rules have really cut their prospective clients by a lot. in all my research i have to say the majority of the success stories i read were from same sex couples. i am totally with you on your views the new rules, i feel really sad for the same sex couples who had India in their plans for a family; while i haven’t done research on other countries, i can only hope there are some alternatives for same sex couples.

      anyways, keep reading, and if you have any specific questions or want more info, i would be happy to correspond in email.

  2. Thank you so much for putting up this blog and sharing your journey with us. My hub and I are planning for surrogacy in India. We are wondering whether your clinic mentioned anything about the couple still needs to come to India to sign the contract if we ship our frozen embryos there later? From your blog, it seems like a “must” now. But hubby has a medical condition that prevents long-term flights.

    • Hi Sara – thanks for writing and i am really glad you are enjoying the blog and finding it helpful. from what i understand, there is a necessity for both parents to come to India now to sign the contract, then for a second visit to leave “deposits”, then for a third to pick up the babe. i have linked to the official document regarding India Visa Requirements for Surrogacy in the Helpful Information section of the blog, over on the right, so have a look and see how you interpret it. I am not sure what your country is, but maybe call the Indian Consulate in your city, or look on their website to see if they have an email address you can write to for clarification.

      i would be shocked (well, kinda) if they didn’t have some sort of way you could do this, especially with confirmation from hubby’s doctor about his condition.

      i have also found that you can email the clinics directly and have email conversations. also, they encourage you to set up phone appointments, which i have now done, and these are great for info gathering.

      feel free to ask me anything 🙂

    • Hi Sara – I tried to email you at the email address you commented with, but no luck. If you haven’t sorted this out already, I have talked to some other women who are doing surrogacy in India, and I think I have some info that would be helpful to you. Please email me at sooomanycats@gmail.com.

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