Not this time


The news is bad. There will be no egg retrieval for us at this time. It’s a combination of things: my severe illness messed up my cycle and my right ovary cannot be visualized, no matter how hard they try, plus my blood pressure was going up from just a few injections, and the IVF clinic isn’t totally equipped to deal with issues other than IVF specific ones.

Before we came, we purchased additional travel medical insurance, as everyone should do when they travel our of province or country, in spite of the fact that one of the main clauses states that there will be exclusions or reductions in coverage if you travel for the purposes of medical treatment. We took this to mean that things related to the medical treatment would be covered, but perhaps if we were hit by a motorbike, we could be covered. Therefore, BP rising due to meds would most certainly not be covered, especially since high BP is a preexisting condition, so we are not prepared or covered for that risk.
As far as my right ovary is concerned, I am fairly pissed off that this wasn’t fully clarified in Canada. While the OB/GYN did see on the report that it couldn’t be visualized, it was thought that when push came to shove, they would be able to move the fat, organs, intestines, or whatever out of the way to see the ovary. The two docs in India here tried to ultrasound via both internal and external methods, and could not view it no matter how much they tried. They state there are massive (or massive amounts of) fibroids blocking all views. Obviously I will need to check this out back home. I it is possible that the fibroids grew when I was on estrogen pills for that month, after the Canada ultrasound…. Who knows.

I was pretty distraught when we found out and only vaguely discussed further options with the clinic, so we have made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon to discuss what we can do going forward. Some of the options in my mind are:

1. Leave a sperm sample here for use with an egg that we send from Canada, IF we can get one/some

2. Send embryos from Canada, IF we can get eggs with which to make embryos

3. Leave a sperm sample here for use with an egg donor here

There are many aspects to discuss together, things to consider, not the least of which is cost. But we need to know the options and costs associated before we can really delve into the talks. We also need to know how much refund we can get, based on the minimal amount of work that was done here.

Hubby is the best, he has said all the right things to me, cuddled me, talked with me, been my usual rock. I am so thankful I have this man at my side for this journey, he makes me feel so much better just being in my space, as always.

Please don’t feel bad for us, this was always a major possibility, maybe even a probability, and we will just move forward from here.

To those of you that are having success, please don’t stop telling me about it, as I will be happy for you and it won’t make me feel bad. I am still interested and pleased to hear other stories.

For those about to embark, you are not me, your bodies are different than mine, and this should not make you worried. We all have different risks that have brought us here, and so our outcomes will all be different based on our particular bodies. Best of luck and my good vibes are headed your way.

Our journey isn’t over by a long shot, so stay tuned! There’s even still some time left in India for me to tell you about!


About namaskarambaby

We are a BC couple who are about to start the process of having a baby using a gestational surrogate in India. We would like to share the process, so the steps will be clearly laid out for other couples who would like to know about this journey, as they may be in a similar situation. We also will likely stay anonymous, as this is a bit of a private process, and we are so early on in the process, that we aren't even sure it's going to work. "Namaskaram" is a greeting in Hindi (the official language of India), which is appropriate for people of all ages... I guess it's similar to Namaste, which is commonly used in the yoga community. This is our first blog, so bear with us. Stay tuned.

3 responses »

  1. So so sorry :(. I really feel for you and understand the heartbreak. But you sound so positive (or as positive as you an be) and you are amazing to be thinking about reassuring others and being so generous with your kindness and thoughts. I really hope that you an work through this. Definitely leave a sperm sample – it will be back-up and might save a further trip down the line. It will give you some options and some time to consider everything.

    All the best and thank you for all your help and insights.


    • Thanks Kate! I think we will for sure… You’ve gotta be a little bit strategic when planning all the possible trips and ways this could go.

      We will definitely get through this….

  2. I’m so sorry that it didn’t work this time for you 😦 Like you said though, this is just the first big hurdle and you have several options still open to you. It seems, from the Blogosphere at least, that many couples need to make multiple attempts before finally realising their dream of a family. Your positive attitude in the face of the challenge is inspiring. All the best with whichever route you decide to take!

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