Long time – long post


Wow, it seems like such a long time since I have written a post. We are in the Seoul airport now, on the way home and have a bit of a layover, so it seems opportune. I have a few minutes to reflect too, though i don’t think my reflecting will be particularly fruitful, as i am already lacking in sleep.

Though we have been gone for about nine hours, Mumbai seems a blur. As always when i travel, but particularly this time, I wish we had done more. Though there didn’t seem a lot to do in Mumbai, we even asked people what to do and nobody had great suggestions. I wished we had maybe gone to Elephanta Island, but we just weren’t in any shape to have done a ferry ride and then island walkabout… Even here in the Seoul airport, debarking our first flight, we met a guy who lives seven months per year in Hawaii and five in India (musician, tough life.. Haha!) and he said he tries not to spend much time in Mumbai, as “it’s a shit hole.” he says that he would actually choose India over Hawaii to live, as it’s beautiful in other places other than Mumbai. Interesting food for thought.

So, to round out that thought… After this trip, and during the trip while I was so sick, I wondered over and over and over if I would ever want to return to India. At this juncture, so soon after leaving, my guts (after rotting for three weeks) say no. But there’s a bitter taste in my mouth (both of our mouths) from the experience. Not just the multiple illnesses, but the nearly instant lack of success as well. The trip was pretty much a bust that left us with so many more questions than answers, and we will need to really do some heavy thinking, researching, and working before we can take a next step on the surrogacy journey.

On another note though, the last three weeks has left me with some other amazing stuff. I connected (via email) with a few women who were in Mumbai at the same time as we were, doing surrogacy stuff. One was doing the first step, same as us, and i wish her all the success imaginable. Her wee family is the epitome of folks who deserve the best possible outcome, because they have almost more to offer a baby than I can imagine, from what little I know already. The second couple are from Vancouver, a mere 20 minute drive from our home, and they are picking up their two bundles in Mumbai. They used two surrogates and didn’t imagine they would both be successful, but they were, and they welcomed first a baby girl, then around a week later a boy. How perfect! (for them… Two freaks us right out!) What i can say about this woman so far, is that she is amazing for her immediate willingness to share information with me, even in the midst of all this baby-picking-up. Through her, I will probably be able to share some details about the pick up portion of the surrogacy process, far sooner than if you had to wait for our bundle. So two fantastic women and two fantastic connections for us.

On the home front, we have had sooooooooo much support from our friends and family back in Vancouver. Throughout the last few weeks, even with the time difference, I have felt supported and missed.

One of our close friends actually told me she would be willing to donate eggs to us, if we didn’t think it was too strange. She and her hubby already have two wonderful (and gorgeous) wee kiddos, who we love, and she doesn’t plan on more, so she wanted me to know she would be willing and happy to share. We do think it would be too strange of a dynamic, but to think that someone would just do that for us is amazing.

Our great friend/building mate came through for us and took grand care of our cats for three weeks. If it weren’t for him, we couldn’t have gone i don’t think. There isn’t anyone else we can think of who would visit our boys twice a day to take care of their needs. Amazing!

And last, but certainly not least… We mentioned we got a new apartment, but what I hadn’t mentioned yet, was that our current apartment had to be shown to potential renters, and since we had been so sick before leaving, it was far from pristine and show- worthy. So, at the drop of a hat, my best friend went over and took care of it. I can’t even believe it. It was then snapped up by the first people to see it, so no more showing!

Plus, as always when we travel, hubby and i got along so wonderfully. We always get along really well and have a great connection, but it seems that when we travel, our symbioticness really comes out the most. Maybe being out of our comfort zone pulls us together…

So… I have felt more connected in the last three weeks, and that is something I value mega, mega! Even though we don’t have a million friends, the few we have would go through fire for us… And that is, I dunno.. I don’t want to say something cliche here… So use your imagination.

About namaskarambaby

We are a BC couple who are about to start the process of having a baby using a gestational surrogate in India. We would like to share the process, so the steps will be clearly laid out for other couples who would like to know about this journey, as they may be in a similar situation. We also will likely stay anonymous, as this is a bit of a private process, and we are so early on in the process, that we aren't even sure it's going to work. "Namaskaram" is a greeting in Hindi (the official language of India), which is appropriate for people of all ages... I guess it's similar to Namaste, which is commonly used in the yoga community. This is our first blog, so bear with us. Stay tuned.

2 responses »

  1. It sounds a s you have an amazing support network . . . and how lucky you and your husband are to travel so well together! After two-plus weeks, Jeff and I both got cranky the last time we traveled abroad together. 😛

    It was so great to read this update! I wish you a safe journey home.

  2. For some reason unbeknownst to me (since I follow your blog) I have only just seen this post! I can identify with all of the above. I am sorry you were so sick and had a rough time, and I know what you mean about dealing with Mumbai, especially at this time of year. Feeling sick on top of everything else – must have been miserable. So sorry we couldn’t meet – didn’t think you would want company when you felt like that! I love the surrogacy community who are all out to help each other, and we really do all want the best for everybody. I really hope you get your dream, however that might occur. It is crap though that it is so difficult. Thank you for everything, and for sharing our journey and yours with us. I hope your move is going well, or goes well, or has gone well. All the best to you both and please don’t give up just yet, although I know that is easier said than done and everybody’s journey and options are so different.

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